a prayer in the furnace

Dearest Jesus,

I have always had the feeling that you hear me better when I write than when I speak. I know it's such a silly conception, I know you hear me, the anxieties of my soul, the doubts of my life, my interior and exterior struggles, whether I speak, or write or think.

But I'd like to start praying for that kid, for that family, who came here to this city hoping that the boy will be able to get that surgery done. Jesus, bless this family, bless that woman, what a warrior, what a warrior! What a brave woman, so serious and so willing to have faith and fight for her boy! I pray for that family, Jesus!

It's just so much crap I see in this world today, Jesus, if I can't stand it, how can You?  I can't stand watching the news anymore, my God, it's like, it's getting worse and worse and worse and worse, there's no hope, there's no love, there's hate and selfishness and selfishness and hate, mingled with the disgusting facade of ethics, of false morals!!!! Sophisms!!! Corrupted minds, corrupted thoughts, corrupted and twisted behavior!!!!

And I'm still here, struggling with my own superficial problems, which take me away from your Holy Presence, from your TRUTH, from your PEACE!!!!

Seek first the Kingdom of God  and Your righteousness and EVERYTHING shall me added unto you. Why can't my soul simply relax and believe in such an elementary biblical principle? Why do I insist on doing it all on my own when I know that the answer to all my problems is YOU, your presence?

Every time I come into your presence, before your throne, I am fulfilled, I am renewed! I am turned into an eagle, tireless, bold! I know that! My sinful human nature is transformed by a glimpse of your glory, by the smell of your presence! I am in awe when I feel your presence in me, in my brothers and sisters! How sick and tired I am of services full of human shine and empty of your true Spirit! It's so revolting! It's all a theater!
Bring me back to where I belong, dearest Jesus, BRING US BACK to where we belong, Lord, for it was YOU who have chosen your Elected, it is You who go after those with a sincere heart!

Yes, full of dirt, weaknesses, flaws- Yes! Lepers! We are the lepers! We want to be cured, Lord, we recognize our ultra limited condition!

So, come and touch us one more time, blow the airs of your presence again, and we will never be the same...

Bring me back, Jesus... Bring me back, Jesus...

I LOVE YOU, JESUS... You are my eternal redeemer.... the lover of my soul.....

I have always asked you to change me and I have finally understood that changing involves DEATH. Death of my own pleasures, my own filthy sense of justice, my favorite sins...

It's hard, it's so hard!

But then, as I am already in the furnace with so many other beloved ones who have refused to bow to the king of this century, as the king has demanded that the furnace be heated 7 times, then, Jesus, please, be with us in the fire!!!! Because it is painful, but if I can see you there again with us, among us, we will dance, we will dance and move about the furnace!

We will walk around the furnace. We will dance in the furnace.

In your holy and precious name.

Amen.

Daniel 3.